Monday, September 20, 2010

What Doesn't Kill You

Yeah you know the saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". For me whatever doesn't kill me makes me eat more. Stress is an ugly thing. I know what my anxiety triggers are and I know what my go to items are in stressful times. My life is full of things I can't control. It is amazing to me that I choose to add to that out of control feeling. This weekend was so stressful. I know that with the lack of sleep and the emotional eating, which I did a bit more mindfully than in the past, my body is just out of whack. I am contemplating if it would be worth it for me to get a nutritionist. The thing holding me back is I know what I am supposed to eat and the amount of calories I am to consume if I wish to lose weight. However, if I spend money on it and I have to answer to someone else I am more motivated. That is why the running group is working for me.
I am paying to run with this group of women so we can train for a race together. I know how to train for a race. I have done it plenty of times before. I know that this time I was in a different place mentally and needed the extra level of accountability. I am wondering if hiring a nutritionist would do the same.I am not saying throwing money at a problem will fix it. I know that is not true. I joined the gym and have gone faithfully for a year, haven't lost a pound or an inch. Its what I invest in other ways that will give me the payoff I am looking for.
I fight every day to take care of my daughter's health. I fight every day to let my son know he is valued and loved. Sometimes I am too tired to fight for me. But if I don't who will? It has to be me. I have to choose me. I also have to remind myself this is a year's plan.  I have one year to accomplish this.

3 comments:

  1. Even the fact that you were more mindful of your emotional eating is a small victory, Trish. Life throws stuff at us and we do what we can to cope. You have a lot more stress than most of us because of your daughter's health. I hope your stressful weekend wasn't something to do with that.

    As for paying for a nutritionist, if you think it will work, go for it. Or just have someone else weigh you, like your husband or kids. Maybe being accountable to them for FREE will work, too!

    Back to the topic of CF. I went to school, from kindergarten to university, with a boy who has CF. He's almost 43 now. Because of him CF is one cause that has always been very dear to my heart. I met the author of a fantastic book that you might like. It's called Sixty-Five Roses. It's a memoir about the auther (Heather) and her sister (Pam) who had CF back when little was known about it. Their parents founded the Canadian CF Foundation. It's a beautiful book. It has very sad moments, but the story is told so lovingly.

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  2. Thanks Leigh. Yes CF is the biggest stresser in my life. Most days I manage well. My daughter had a cold and sometimes that can turn into something so much more.

    Glad to hear of an adult with CF. It is becoming more the norm. Yay! I am very familiar with Sixty-Five ROses. Thanks so much for thinking of me.

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